When you don’t feel good enough

Have you ever been in a room surrounded by people, yet you still cannot shake the feeling of being alone? It is as if everyone else in the room is intangibly connected, but somehow you remain out of touch. You think that if you were to leave the room at any given moment, not a single soul would notice. 

In life, we are constantly in a whirlwind of chaos. I think that part of the reason why we stay so busy is because being still requires us to acknowledge how we truly feel deep inside. For me, stillness brings about loneliness. During life’s brief pauses, I catch myself uncomfortably aware of my solitarily. This realization is accompanied by depression, anxiety, and a snowballing of “I’m not good enough” thoughts.

Maybe you are like me. You dive headfirst into a job claiming that it’s ‘for the money’. You spend too much time scrolling through social media to ‘keep in touch’. You speed through one Netflix series after the next to ‘pass the time’. Yet there comes a point where none of these things can mask how lonely you truly feel. Because eventually you have to clock out and go home. You run out of posts to scroll through and TV shows to watch. And you are all alone.

But you really aren’t alone, because the God of the universe is always with you. As Christians, we know this. It’s classic Sunday school teachings. So, why do we forget this so often?

You see, when things are going good for us, we forget how much we need God. Job is good, family is good, relationship is good, school is good, so everything’s good. Until things start going wrong. You lose your job, a family member dies, you get dumped, you fail a class, so everything is not good. And now you think that God has abandoned you. 

But he didn’t. He has been there the entire time. God loved you and was with you through all of the good and all of the bad. He does not care about your job title, family history, relationship status, or GPA. 

When we place all of our joy in the hands of man, we set ourselves up for failure. People die. Relationships end. But God’s love remains forever. 
“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” Matthew 28:20